- When they rub themselves lovingly round your ankles, and then drop a live mouse in your slipper - while you are still wearing it ( my husband gave his knee a right bang on the table that time and still hasn't got over it).

-When they wait until you are just going out the door to work and, realising that a refill for the grub dish will be several hours away, hurl themselves at your ankles and leave a pelmet of fur around your smart black trousers for you to discover when you sit down on the train. This can be even worse if you are wearing a skirt, as static on your tights can leave you looking like an East European shot putter from the knees down.

-When they sit on the edge of the bath while you are soaking and just stare. . . . and. after a while you get the unnerving feeling that they are really somehow hooked up to a CCTV system, and somewhere there are people eating crisps and laughing at you.

-When they shred the side of your settee by using it as a passing scratching post.
-When they are sick in your typewriter/ dried flower arrangements/behind your window ledge ornaments on the side that is clearly visible from the street..

-When you have visitors and they make a passionate bee-line for the one person who has the allergy .
-OR -when you have visitors and they enter the room, pause for dramatic effect, go to centre stage and either :
-Relieve themselves noisily and dramatically of a large fur ball, or worse - try unsuccessfully to do the same,
-OR -making sure they have everyone's attention - begin to scratch furiously, and then stare fixedly at a non-existent something on the carpet (guaranteed to make fastidious animal hating visitors squirm) ,
-OR -again making sure they have all eyes upon them - start to noisily lick at various parts of their anatomy (elderly relatives and young children particularly enjoy this one).

-When they bring rodents and other forms of wild life indoors, and then not only forget where they put them, but feign ignorance when they later turn up - dead, alive, or mummified.

BUT.. .. .. they do give you a lovely welcome when you come home at night - conducting you with tail erect like a shop floor-walker through the house - "on my left, haberdashery, armchairs, table, kitchen sink, and ooh look !- cats', food dishes".

But.. . .they do start to purr like a small engine just at the sight of you, or purr while they are eating their favourite grub (like my son who when he was little used to sing when he was eating something really nice).
And - they do sit so companionably with you, and can be such a tactile pleasure,
And- they are very affectionate in their own laid back way - as I pointed out to my husband - he doesn't try to bite my ankle out of passion when I walk past (well, not lately anyway)

And.. . .they are such unique characters and just so watchable and lovely and so , well, furry,
And . . .
Cats - don't you just love them?

 

(c) Thelma Mitchell 1995, 2002